There's no wrong way to grieve.
Or is there?
Here are 6 stumbling blocks I've found in my own grief journey. They may not be WRONG -- but they certainly will cause more pain and confusion as you navigate through your heartache.
1. Comparison. Just stop it.
Someone once told me, "Curiosity didn't kill the cat. Comparison did."
Comparison really is death, isn't it? If not death, I hope you'll at least agree it's a very unfair way of squelching one experience to highlight another.
However you think of it, it's really not that healthy.
In our pregnancy and infancy loss support group, we often highlight the comparisons others have made about our grief.
But here's one thing denial WILL spare you: a beautiful legacy that can be created from the darkest of pain.
4. Guilt. Don't let it consume you.
"She said the wrong thing to me, and I don't think I can ever forgive her."
"She's grieving all wrong."
I think the person we are the quickest to judge is ourselves. "I should be over this by now." "I want to name my baby, but that seems weird. What will people think?" "I must be doing this all wrong because it still hurts." These are all thoughts I've had, but instead of helping me heal and deal . . . they just make me feel bad.
Have you ever thought . . .
But grief is like an angry, active volcano. And it NEEDS to find a way out. And it will find a way out, in spite of any of our feeble attempts to stifle our feelings.
Or else, it really will start to burn.