When I experienced my first loss, I felt an intense need to share my story. To speak of my pain, my loss, my experience.
I know others have felt the same.
But in this world of ours, pregnancy and infancy loss can be such a hush-hush topic.
And so I created this safe space to share my story. And to let others share too.
If you want to share your story, please email me at renyeart@gmail.com.
Please include:
-Your first name OR whether you would like to share anonymously.
-The name you would like me to refer to your baby by.
-The type of loss you suffered, and the gestation or trimester you were in.
(Please know, I consider every loss equally valid. All of my losses were in the first trimester, and yet they are the loss of my children -- not just pregnancies. I do "categorize" the losses, because if people are searching for a specific type of loss and need support, I want them to be able to find a story they can relate to easily.)
- Your story (any aspect of your loss, or all of it. It is up to you.) I do retain the right to edit for misspellings, grammatical errors and overall clarity. But I do so with the intent to keep your story as close to the original as possible.
- A photo, if you would like one.
DISCLAIMER: If you ask me to post a photo, it will be available on search engines. I cannot legally be held responsible for who will see the photo, or if they will use it in any way. If you share, please understand that this photo is not private, and I am not personally liable for anyway that it is used.
Please know that I do my best to update my blog as I can -- but sometimes it can take me a few weeks to get your story posted.
I am so privileged and grateful to learn of all your babies, and their miraculous little lives -- no matter how short.
Much love,
Rachel
P.S. I've had a lot of stories emailed to me recently. I will get them posted as quickly as I can, but please bear with me as I go through them. Once I have posted your story, I will email you back to let you know that it is live, and will send you the link. Thanks for your patience! And thank you for sharing your babies with me.
As I read your story, tears of grief came into my eyes for the baby I lost in August 1980 at 8-10 weeks (before ultrasound was routine.) I miscarried at home, not truly knowing what was happening. I look forward to the day when I will meet our child at the throne of Our Heavenly Father. God has blessed me with 3 healthy children, born in 1981, 1984 and 1985. And I now have a precious granddaughter. Yet, I grieve for those families whose desire for children remains unfulfilled. The good that comes from this heartbreaking experience is that I have been able to comfort as I was comforted through that grief-filled period. Thank you for sharing your story.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was reading your story, I go back to the time I lost my little baby girl at 24 weeks. I had a 4 year old little boy at the time and he kept me busy. Most people gave me the same responses as it wasn't meant to be or there will be more, or just blow it off completely. I had another son the next year and he is wonderful. I love my boys more than anything. They are 34 and 30 now. My oldest has given me a beautiful granddaughter who is 14 and his adorable son who is 2. I am 56 now and still have a hole in my heart. I feel like there is something I didn't get to finish and its always there just below the surface and can't complete. No one understands that feeling. My grandchildren are the love of my life and I enjoy them so much. I just wonder what if.
ReplyDeleteHi Rachel I lost my babay at six weeks. I never got to give him or her a name. People treated me a if I had a disease that I just had to get over and get on with life. A miscarried baby is treated as a nothing. No grieving at all. Im just happy that now I have three boys age 4, 2 and 1 but I will never stop wondering wat kind of person my little lost one would be.
ReplyDeleteMary Ellen
ReplyDeleteI had two miscarriages in my first trimester. I always wanted children so my first miscarriage was very devastating, When I got pregnant again I had a mole pregnancy which is very unusually. I had a tumor instead of a baby and needed to have chest x-rays and blood tests to make sure I was alright. I had to wait a year to get pregnant again. I was graced with a beautiful doctor who understood my anxiety and I was blessed with my beautiful son Patrick in 1983 and then my lovely daughter Elizabeth in 1985. I was fortunate to find a good doctor. The hardest part of miscarriages is people telling me that is was God's will and the annoying phone calls about baby picture, formula etc. I wanted to have more childrne but my daughter was born with a heart defect that thank God was fixed so I didn't want to chance it. My advice to mothers it's okay to grieve they were your babies. I also if you are not happy with your doctor changed doctors like I did and it made a world of difference.
Your blog has helped me through the loss of 3 babies in 3 months (twins and a single) It has been very hard, but being able to articulate it has helped me so much. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteyou're welcome, Lauralee. I'm so very sorry for the loss of your three babies. I can't imagine, in so short of a time. hugs to you.
DeleteRachel,
ReplyDeleteYour blog is amazing! I'm so glad a friend referred me to it today. I admire that you are so open about your losses and true feelings. It's awesome that you share the stories of others who are dealing with it also. You are helping so many!
I have lost four precious angel babies. Our first one's estimated due date just past a few weeks ago so we have been battling unexplained recurrent pregnancy loss for 8 months now.
Our first baby was a surprise and we were so happy! We lost that little one at 6 weeks. Our second showed a strong and amazing heartbeat and we couldn't stop staring at pictures of our little peanut. I was 11 weeks when I fully miscarried, but we know that the baby past away weeks before then as we found out during an ultrasounds that the baby's heart had stopped beating. Our third was another surprise, but our hearts were full. Baby number #3 died at 5 weeks. Baby #4 was highly anticipated and very much planned after a series of testing and everything coming back normal. There were difficulties from the very beginning and we miscarried at 5 weeks again.
This last month I have also worried that we lost a fifth baby. My cycle was very off and the bleeding and cramping felt identical to a miscarriage. Testing could have been done, but I didn't get to find out for certain. The physical pain is one thing, but the emotional pain is a daily battle. I have been relying on my faith and the comfort and blessing of others to help me through.
I have a blog and I have opened up about it as well: http://keripluscameron.blogspot.com/.
Thank you, and I am so truly sorry for your losses. My heart and prayers go out to you and your sweet family!
Keri
Rachel,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your story, and the stories of others. In order to start figuring out how to manage my own grief after 3 miscarriages, I am just starting to blog. I have so many ideas and things I want to say - but wasn't sure if blogging was the place for it. But, after reading your story and the story of so many others who also choose to blog as a way to emotionally heal, I am now inspired to continue down that path. My blog is at http://jrosebro1981.blogspot.com/. Thanks again for all of your wonderful posts.
Jo Ann
Thanks so much for sharing with us....us who know your pain. I lost my little sister when I was 15 and it about broke my heart to pieces. Mama had already had 3 miscarriages before that, so we were so happy that she had made it that far (32 weeks)! But alas, the Lord took my precious little sister home with him on September 3rd, 2014. The cause of her death was a blood clot in her cord. To lose a baby sister is hard enough, but I can only imagine the pain of your own child. But if your heart is given to the Lord, you will see your precious little ones one glorious day:-) Meanwhile, they are with the Lord, as is my little Leah, and I know that she is in the presence of my dear Savior. They will forever be in our hearts, all of our angel babies, and we will be reunited very, very soon! May the Lord keep you in His love, Rachel!!
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