Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Adoption update # 1 billion and 1

For some reason, tonight, I feel like giving you an update... 

Maybe it's because we finally heard back from our attorney today. 

Woot woot!

If I were a runner, I could probably come up with a great analogy right about now about what it feels like to be finally facing that finish line and sprinting toward the prize. 

Alas, I'm not a runner, and never aspire to become one. And so my feelings at this part of the race would probably be that of being shamelessly carried off the track on a stretcher. 

So, for the sake of this quickly crumbling analogy, let us picture how you, runners, might be feeling at this leg of the race. 

Fierce determination. Renewed energy. Exhaustion overcome by the sheer thrill of it all.

And that (probably) is how I am. 

(I think.)

As much as I was excited to get the call frim the attorney's today, I was met with some unexpected news.

The attorney needed more information, as my paperwork was incomplete. 

(Naturally. They have everything from how I related to my kid brother in third-grade, to every medical condition I've had, my husband has had, and all of our immediate family have had. And yet, our paperwork is incomplete.)

(Seriously though. The entire family's medical history was just ONE question on a 20-page questionnaire. On the SECOND homestudy we completed.) 

And now you know what "paper pregnancy" is really like. 

"What," I wondered, "could they possibly need???"

"Oh, you know, the usual. Legal name. DOB. Address ..." The email lists half a dozen of the most basic info ever.

Everything, I am certain, that could be found on any one of the billions of pages we've already filled out. 

It could have been worse. Actually, it could have been a lot worse. 

And so I dutifully entered the info again, and breathed a sigh of relief that I didn't have to look up my address at every one of my previous residences growing up in the military. 

(I slightly recall doing that already. I don't know. I was in such a haze. Don't they have some sort of epidurals for adoptions??) 

(oh, wait, that's called wine.)  

(I digress.)

And so it happens that we still don't have a date. 

If I had ever gone to term with any of my babies, I would probably tell you it's just like being 40+ weeks pregnant, knowing delivery is imminent but not knowing the day, while simultaneously wondering if you just might be pregnant FOREVER. 

Again... Never been there. 

But I think I know enough friends who had, so I think I can safely say I understand. (A little.)

And, if I may boast for just one moment, I will admit that this will be the least physically painful addition to our family ever.

It is also the only family addition where I have 100% confidence that my body will neither kill my child or try to kill me in the process. 

A morbid, yet visceral relief.

And so, instead of enduring 40 hours of back labor, like some of you have, I get to go shopping for an adoption day outfit (mine, naturally), go to a room surrounded by happy people, sign a piece of paper, have a huge party afterward, and probably unwind with some wine with the hubby. 
Oh... And sleep ALL through the night. 

(There will be no little hospital gown with the silly little holes placed exactly where you MOST want to be covered when guests come to visit. No night nurses to wake me up to check my vitals every hour for a day after surgery. And no magnesium sulfate! Which means I can be fairly certain that for our first picture as a family, both of my eyeballs will be pointed in the same direction... A feat I seemed to have found impossible with Maddy.)
Fully covered, fully rested, and fully in love with our little girl, we slowly move forward toward the finish line. 

Here's what we have left (barring any unforeseen incomplete paperwork) ...

We have court tomorrow. I'll probably wait 3 hours for a 5-minute formality (during all of which I'll dread the judge calling on me to speak up to the court to give an udate on little miss. I always get so flustered.) While not my favorite way to spend time, if it means it gets us closer to "gotcha day," I'm all in. 

We need to set a date to meet with our attorney this week. They asked today if they could see us tomorrow, but we have court. So hopefully we'll meet on Friday. 

I have a few pages of adoption paperwork to verify. I'm sure we'll have a lot to sign. 

Then ... We get to pick a date. 

We are almost there!

PS. For those of you who may be concerned, I've had little miss's outfit picked out and hanging in her closet for months. Can't wait to see her in it! She'll be so stinking cute. :)


  1. Woot woot!! Joining with you in a pre-happy-dance happy dance! I've been there: 2-hour wait for our time in court to sign a paper and take a picture with the lawyer and the judge. So, so awesome.

    1. Thanks Amy!! I hope we don't have a 2-hour wait! Little miss will be so cranky if we have to wait that long. I'm hopeful they'll get us in first. Or second. You know ... Early. :)

  2. So wonderful!! Our foster boy, I believe with 99.9% certainty -God's will, we be our forever boys! Next week we have our social worker bringing out the adoption packet for us to get started on the same journey. We hope to cross the finish line with boys in tact!!

    1. Yay Deanna! Excited for you to start this journey!! Hoping for you it will be quick!

  3. I found your blog by accident. I am doing research on NICU environments for a graduate nursing research project. Never did I think that I would sit for hours reading every post and pouring over each story. I am so moved by your writing. Thank you for your wonderful stories and updates. Hugs to you. - caroline

    1. Caroline, it's so nice to "meet" you. I'm glad you found my blog, and have been touched by the stories and posts.

  4. I came across your blog by accident. I was doing research on NICU environments for a master's nursing research project. Never in a million years could I have anticipated spending hours pouring over every post and reading each story. I am so moved by your story, and by all the stories shared by these wonderful women. I will take your wonderful blog with me into practice each day.

  5. Way to go Rachel! The little miss is super duper adorable. She definitely has your bright and cheerful smile. You are almost on the finish line. Look at her smiling face cheering for you like you're an Olympic runner.

  6. Adoption and fostering are soooo complicated. I get that they need to make sure a child will be safe, but how is verifying every single childhood address going to prove that more than a thorough police record check? We just updated our home study simply because at two years it was out of date, and we spent the whole visit saying, "It's the same as it was the first time." Hoping all has gone well and she can be officially yours very, very soon!

    1. Yes, it is so complicated. And sometimes, it seems fraught with unnecessary hang-ups and hold-outs. I'm glad you're getting your license renewed! Best wishes for you on your journey!

  7. Rach, I'm so incredibly excited for you all!! I can't wait to officially someday meet "Little Miss." She's been tuggin' on my heart strings for a long time :-) Love ya!