Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Getting a child -- giving up bread -- and everything in between

Hi everyone!

Sorry it's been so long since my last post. (Ok, Ok, I know you were not exactly holding your breath or anything.) But if you were -- we are still alive!

So the big news since my most recent post is that last week, we officially adopted our daughter Leyla. :) Yay! She has a name! And she is an official Lewis!

This was Leyla's first foster family, who had her from birth to age 1.


The high from that day has worn off some, but I'm still very thankful that finalization is behind us and we can move forward as a family now.

Ryan and I have chosen to keep our foster license open for now. We are not sure if/when we would accept another child into our home -- but for now, we are going to enjoy a little bit of a break from social workers. (We like our social workers and all, but still, it's nice to know they don't have to come check in on us.)

As for me, I feel like I'm crawling out of the pit I was in. A woman I respect very much has said, "Every time you crawl out of the pit, you launch a new version of yourself."

And I definitely am feeling that way.

I am choosing to take my business to the next level -- and have chosen to attend our yearly conference in Vegas. While I know that it is going to be full of grief-triggers -- HELLO being surrounded by 18,000 fertile women -- it is still very much something I need to do. Maybe I'll take a few extra breaks by the pool or something. ;) Who knows?

More than just business, I'm really trying to focus on God more. And friends. And the good things I have in life.

I'm still not sure if I'm up for trying again to have a biological child. That decision doesn't have to be made now, and I'm thankful for that. But I do go back and forth on whether or not I'm up for it. Or if my family is.

For now, I'm thankful to see my girls together. And I'm thankful that we have a few things to look forward to! (Can you say, Great Wolf Lodge???)

I must confess I am doing terrible these days at being gluten-free. It's strange because I was doing great for so long (months!!!) And then this last week, it's all fallen apart. I think I lost a good bit of my drive when we miscarried last, because I was hoping getting rid of gluten would help me keep my babies. I WILL say, however, I still don't feel well when I eat gluten -- so at least that is some sort of incentive. So I must just say, I'm gluten-reduced. Not gluten-free. At least for now. Ok. Now I at least don't have to feel like a hypocrite the few times I cheat!

My brain has been somewhat preoccupied with writing a book. I'm a tad overwhelmed at the process of writing a non-fiction proposal and then actually trying to get it published. And I'm a little unsure of what the structure and overall feel of my book will be.

(Well, maybe not so much the feel. I think I'll write just as I always have. I'm just wondering how much will be my personal story -- and how much will it be my thoughts on loss, etc? And how many other people's stories will I include? And should I include the physical processes in my miscarriage story? Or should I focus only on the emotional aspects?)

Anyway -- you can see I don't have it all hammered out yet, but my brain is working full-time on it. (Again -- not total truth. My brain is never on one thing full-time when I have two littles around. But at least it's as full-time as it can be.)

So you tell me -- what has gone on in your world this last week? Have you ever gone gluten-free? And what should my book be about? :)


  1. Never gone gluten free and as far as the book goes, I think you'll know what feels right.

    I just have to say congratulations! You have a beautiful family. The girls are gorgeous! :)

  2. I went in the paleo/primal direction and it definitely improved my hormone balance/fertility (that was a side effect, I just wanted to feel better). Not saying that's universal, either. It is hard, especially at church where the cookies flow freely ;-)

    1. it IS hard MamaV! Wheat is in EVERYTHING! I'm so glad it helped you. I guess I'm still hoping it will help me in that area too!