For those of you who don't know, Ryan and I went on a 28-day detox through Arbonne this month. I have been itching to blog about our experience for quite some time. (After all, it's only been about 5 months since my last post -- time to update!)
So, in case you're wondering how we were detoxing, this is what we did . . .
We cut out all potentially allegenic food, and food that's just plain bad for you, including:
-refined sugar
-Medium- and high-glycemic fruits (we only ate green apples and berries)
-caffeine (other than Arbonne's fizzy tab)
-coffee (AHH!)
-gluten
-wheat
-vinegar
-dairy
-processed foods
-peanuts
-pork (or any pig meat products)
-white rice, or any non-complex carb
We tried to only eat organic fruits, vegies and meats. In addition, I only purchased organic, hormone-free, free-range and grass-fed meats.
We cut our portion sizes on our plates. A fist-sized portion of protein, a fist-sized portion of grain, and then we could fill our plates with vegies, salads and leafy greens.
We did Arbonne protein shakes for breakfast and lunch, had an energy fizz tab (natural energy drink), and the get fit chews (yummy choc. chews). In addition, we did one whole foods snack a day. (my fav was fresh avocado with cilantro, lime juice, tomatoes and salt.)
So why the heck did I even start this crazy diet anyway?
Well, for starters, I wasn't happy with how my body felt. I know, I know . . . I'm not a huge person. BUT, I don't think it matters what size you are -- I knew I wasn't healthy, my clothes didn't fit right, and I didn't feel CONFIDENT in my body anymore. Besides, who wants to feel like they are squeezing into their clothes every day, or feel self-concious?
I wondered if it might help cullulite (big confession there.) I knew I was addicted to coffee and sugar (and bread).
Plus, I knew it would be good for our whole family.
Last, but not least . . . you really can't sell a product you don't try. So many people were loving the products and the system, that I knew I would miss out unless I tried it. I'm so thankful to my hubby who joined me (sometimes begrudgingly, but he joined me nonetheless) on this journey. I couldn't have done it without him!
Here are some of the results from our detox journey:
1. We lost weight. (I know, big surprise!) Ryan has lost 12 lbs so far, and I've lost 3. My clothes fit way better, I feel renewed confidence in my body, and I even got new skinny jeans to commemorate my new body. (I love rocking those jeans!)
2. I lost my reflux. With the exception of a few times, I haven't had any reflux in 3 weeks. (The times I did have it were the times I ate past 7 -- or had a cup of coffee -- things that we're not supposed to do on the diet.) Before the detox, I was feeling nauseated most days and lots of gross burping at night (sorry, I know that's icky) . . . but I really hated that feeling. The interested thing is that I lost the reflux naturally by changing my diet. When I talked to my Dr, he just prescribed medicine and never mentioned changing my diet.
3. My stomach shrunk. For some reason, before the detox, I had gotten in the habit of taking seconds -- something we weren't allowed to do on the diet. Looking back, I never needed the extra food -- it's just that it tasted good. I think I stretched out my stomach so that I "needed" those seconds to actually feel full. Now, post-detox, I rarely feel the need to have seconds. In fact, I've even had a hard time finishing my plate full of veggies sometimes.
4. I sleep better at night. Maybe it was all the coffee I was pouring into my system. (I was a 2-cup-a-day kinda girl.) But I am actually READY to go to sleep at night now the way I used to be. The only downside? I now regularly fall asleep during our late night movie fests.
5. I SAVOR the flavor of food more. In the past, fruit was a chore. I liked eating veggies, but I always ate them with dip, or something fattening. Given the choice, I wanted bread or sugar, not healthy food. Now, I am LOVING the flavor of apples, tomatoes, broccoli, you name it. I hardly crave things like pretzels or potato chips . . . just give me a carton of grape tomatoes or strawberries! (Confession: I even like the flavor now of unsweetened chocolate. Weird . . . I know). But I still have a craving for chocolate cake . . .
Here's what I learned from my experience:
1. I WASN'T choosing healthy foods before, even though I thought I was. The first grocery trip for our diet was quite revealing. My cart looked totally different than before. And I spent the majority of my time in the different sections of the grocery store. I always breezed past the natural and organic section. But I plan to spend much more time their in the future. This time, my cart really reflected just a few things: healthy and organic grains, organic produce and "healthy" meat (which I could really only get at Central). Oh, and almond milk for me and Ryan (and organic whole milk for Maddy.)
2. I eat from emotions WAY more than I thought I did. I've always considered coffee to be a comfort food. When I'm stressed, coffee makes it better. When I have to do something I don't want to do, coffee makes it better. When I'm with a friend or family, coffee makes it better. If I'm stressed out with Maddy, coffee makes it better. You get the idea . . .
So, what the heck was I to do when I couldn't have coffee for 4 weeks!?!? First, I have to say that I did not end up with caffeine withdrawal, thanks to the fizzy tabs. But emotionally? That was another matter. Every day, I wanted a cup of coffee. Some days more than others. But not having that as an instant-soother made me kinda confront my emotions in a different way.
I think that from now on, I'll view coffee as a treat (and always decaf). But I'll start my day with an energy fizz tab, because I don't get coffee breath with those, they don't give me the jitters, I'm less hungry through the day, and it gives me the energy I need. So coffee will be an afternoon treat sometimes, and not every day (esp. cause I know now it gives me reflux.)
3. It matters what I eat. It matters to my health, to the way I feel, the way I look, and my attitude.
4. I'm stronger than I gave myself credit for. Sure, we messed up our diet a few times. But I've learned to overcome cravings I didn't think I could. To stick with something, even when other people weren't looking. I have a new respect for myself.
5. Because I was giving up things (like vinegar, and non-organic meats), it made me curious WHY I was doing those things. What's wrong with them anyway? This lead me on a path to research our foods, and how they are made here in America .(Insert the documentary, Food Inc., which has forever altered the way I think about food.) Knowledge is power.
Tomorrow is the last day of the diet. But I truly feel that the way I eat, and treat my body, has really changed for good. And yes, I'm really looking forward to having a piece of chocolate cake with a cup of (decaf) coffee here soon.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Thursday, October 28, 2010
To have a baby -- or not to have a baby?
I've been up since 4:30 am, for no particular reason. (Not my favorite way to spend a morning!)
Luckily, I had my handy new Droid conveniently placed on my bedside, perfect for way-too-early internet-surfing pleasure. After checking my FB, disappointed at how few people post between midnight and 4:30, I turned to a website I hadn't visited in awhile: the preeclampsia foundation.
For those of you who don't know, when I was 37 weeks preggo with Maddy, I developed preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome. Both are life-threatening diseases and the only cure is delivery of the baby. To put it nicely, my health was rapidly declining, so they delivered early. Even though we both recovered and were healthy, I was left very depressed about my birthing experience.
About a year after she was born, I found the preeclampsia foundation's website. I never expected my healing to come from surfing the internet late one night. But as I read other women's stories (some whose babies survived, some whose didn't, and some where even the mom died) and submitted my own story -- I finally felt at peace.
Every once in a while I go back and read the recent stories, perhaps to remind myself what could have been and be grateful for God's hand on me and Maddy. Today was such an occasion. But instead of feeling gratitude, I became overwhelmed with fear.
After all, Maddy is almost 2. And I get a hankering to smell newborn baby head every once in a while (you moms and dads know what I'm talking about.) And sometimes I think Maddy would be happier with a sibling.
So maybe I do want another baby. But then again, after today's stories, maybe not.
The first 3 stories I read were these: Delivered at 24 weeks, baby died. Delivered around 24 weeks, baby survived (after months in the NICU), mom had severe complications. Delivered early, baby fine, mom in coma for 4 weeks and barely made it out alive.
Hmm .... newborn baby head doesn't sound quite so appealing anymore. How could I put myself, and my baby at risk? What if I die and leave Ryan and Maddy? What if we lose our baby -- could I live with the loss?
So, for those who like numbers, here they are:
I have a 40-50% chance of developing preeclampsia or some other serious complications with another pregnancy. I have a 25% chance of developing HELLP syndrome. These complications could come at any time during the pregnancy, although USUALLY in the last trimester.
Considering I had a 0.5% chance of developing HELLP with Maddy (and I did) .... 25% sounds astronomical.
For those who don't so much care for numbers -- suffice it to say that I'm terrified of getting pregnant again. But saddened beyond belief at the prospect of not being able to have another Rachel-Ryan mix to call my own.
No big decision needs to be made today -- but I know we need to decide before we have another "OOPS -- we're pregnant!" on our hands. Ryan and I already want to adopt .... I had just hoped I could have at least one more of our own babies to add to the family.
(To read my story, go to:
http://www.preeclampsia.org/SeeStory.aspx?id=8217629. And note that there is a typo: My liver was about to rupture, not erupt. Every time I read that I cringe. If only I could edit that post!!)
Luckily, I had my handy new Droid conveniently placed on my bedside, perfect for way-too-early internet-surfing pleasure. After checking my FB, disappointed at how few people post between midnight and 4:30, I turned to a website I hadn't visited in awhile: the preeclampsia foundation.
For those of you who don't know, when I was 37 weeks preggo with Maddy, I developed preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome. Both are life-threatening diseases and the only cure is delivery of the baby. To put it nicely, my health was rapidly declining, so they delivered early. Even though we both recovered and were healthy, I was left very depressed about my birthing experience.
About a year after she was born, I found the preeclampsia foundation's website. I never expected my healing to come from surfing the internet late one night. But as I read other women's stories (some whose babies survived, some whose didn't, and some where even the mom died) and submitted my own story -- I finally felt at peace.
Every once in a while I go back and read the recent stories, perhaps to remind myself what could have been and be grateful for God's hand on me and Maddy. Today was such an occasion. But instead of feeling gratitude, I became overwhelmed with fear.
After all, Maddy is almost 2. And I get a hankering to smell newborn baby head every once in a while (you moms and dads know what I'm talking about.) And sometimes I think Maddy would be happier with a sibling.
So maybe I do want another baby. But then again, after today's stories, maybe not.
The first 3 stories I read were these: Delivered at 24 weeks, baby died. Delivered around 24 weeks, baby survived (after months in the NICU), mom had severe complications. Delivered early, baby fine, mom in coma for 4 weeks and barely made it out alive.
Hmm .... newborn baby head doesn't sound quite so appealing anymore. How could I put myself, and my baby at risk? What if I die and leave Ryan and Maddy? What if we lose our baby -- could I live with the loss?
So, for those who like numbers, here they are:
I have a 40-50% chance of developing preeclampsia or some other serious complications with another pregnancy. I have a 25% chance of developing HELLP syndrome. These complications could come at any time during the pregnancy, although USUALLY in the last trimester.
Considering I had a 0.5% chance of developing HELLP with Maddy (and I did) .... 25% sounds astronomical.
For those who don't so much care for numbers -- suffice it to say that I'm terrified of getting pregnant again. But saddened beyond belief at the prospect of not being able to have another Rachel-Ryan mix to call my own.
No big decision needs to be made today -- but I know we need to decide before we have another "OOPS -- we're pregnant!" on our hands. Ryan and I already want to adopt .... I had just hoped I could have at least one more of our own babies to add to the family.
(To read my story, go to:
http://www.preeclampsia.org/SeeStory.aspx?id=8217629. And note that there is a typo: My liver was about to rupture, not erupt. Every time I read that I cringe. If only I could edit that post!!)
Sunday, August 15, 2010
A bit of perspective...
Sometimes a new perspective arrives in glimpses. Other times it's like a big red curtain at a theatre, opening to a new way of looking at life. And you wonder if you'll be able to ever see the world the same again.
The last few days have been somewhere in between...
Here's how I viewed life before God decided to give me a little perspective:
If only ....(fill in the blank). If only I were prettier, had more money, were more successful in Arbonne, were more organized, kept a cleaner home, were a better mom, a better wife..... If only.
Then I was listening to my station of choice, NPR of course. They were doing an interview at an orphanage in Afghanistan. There was a little boy there. His mom had gone for a walk. But didn't return home. She was captured by insurgents threatening to blow her up. And a few days later, they did. They took her to hospital, strapped her to explosives, and used her as a suicide bomber.
Upon hearing the news, the father, who suffered from asthma, had a massive attack triggered by stress, grief, and of course, the Afghan dust. He was rushed to a hospital -- but it was too late. He too died ... leaving this traumatized boy to join the thousands and thousands of children whose lives have been forever altered by horrible and unimaginable violence. He plays well at the orphanage during the day ... but he can't sleep at nights. He misses his mom and dad -- and the life at home he used to have.
Well, that story was enough to bring tears to my eyes -- but God wasn't quite done.
I was reading Reader's Digest (yes, I still like reading this old peoples' magazine) -- and they had an article on a Holocaust death camp. The numbers of people who were gassed makes your mind reel. But one story broke my heart. A woman was carrying her baby with her on the way to the gas chambers (of course, they didn't realize that's where they were headed.) In the mass confusion, a woman dropped her baby. She stopped to pick up her child, but the guards were on it. The started beating her. She cried, and asked if she could please pick up her baby. They said, "We'll take care of your baby." And they picked up the child, and threw the baby into a nearby fire.
"OK, God, I think this is enough heartbreak. I get it...." But he wasn't done yet.
I read a story of a toddler who was in foster care. His mom was a drug addict, and her boyfriend, extremely abusive. He was found wandering around in a parking lot with his 5 siblings, teeth cracked and broken by a recent beating. Just another unwanted child.
Last night, I couldn't sleep. Not cause I wasn't tired -- but because I was thinking about all the kidnapped girls that had been trafficked for sex. These are girls are so precious to God -- yet are used, abused, raped, tortured and sometimes killed. While I lay peacefully in my bed ... they were in stranger's beds, servicing up to 20 men a night. Not because they want to or because they like it. Because someone decided they had no rights, no future, nothing to offer but a PROFIT. So many lives absolutely ruined.
Not only are they victims ... they are misunderstood. When I talk to people about sex trafficking, most don't want to hear about it. "That doesn't happen here, so why should I know about it?" Um... yes it does happen ... to at least 100,000 children every year in America. "Sex trafficking -- honey I'm too old to hear about stuff like that." "I'm too busy ..." "That only happens to kids who are raised wrong." I've heard it all.
By this time last night (or should I say early this morning) -- I was tired of hearing all the bad news. I wanted to just close my eyes to the pain, grief and despair plaguing the least of these. But there was still more....
Today at church, we had a missionary from Asia preach. He told a story. .. "One of the missionaries on our team felt called to the river Ganges to preach to the Muslims gathered there. To cleanse themselves of sin, they wash themselves in the sordid, smelly waters of waste. As the missionary approached the waters, he saw a woman on her face, pounding the ground and wailing. From her weeping, he knew her pain had to be great.
"'Mother,' he asked, 'Your pain must be great. Please tell me what is wrong, and perhaps I can help.' She told him that her husband had TB and could not work. She did not know how to feed her family. She thought that maybe if she offered her most precious sacrifice, the gods might have mercy and provide for her family. '30 minutes ago, I threw my 6 month son into the river,' she confessed through her sobs. He wept with her ... and told her that God had already sacrificed his son so that her sins would be forgiven. 'Where were you 30 minutes ago?' she cried. 'If I had only known, then my son would be alive and with me.' She went home weeping."
Even as I write this, tears stream down my face. I cannot fathom the despair and hopelessness that would cause a mother to sacrifice her own child.
So where does this new perspective leave me?
I'm still trying to figure that out. For starters, I know that I can't do anymore of the "if only...." God has spared my life from so much grief, trauma, loss, violence and hopelessness. He has provided AMPLY for my needs. I have ALWAYS had enough food, known I was loved, loved Christ since I was a child, grew up knowing I would go to heaven, have a wonderful, safe and healthy family.
My gratitude is so great right now. But that is not enough. The grief, the pain, the loss HAS to be addressed. Somehow sending a check to missionaries and ministries isn't enough. Sure, it's something. But I feel God calling me to do something more.
But WHAT? is the question I'm faced with. Pray more? Support more missionaries? Become a foster parent? Adopt from orphanages? Become an advocate for sex-trafficking victims?
The last few days have been somewhere in between...
Here's how I viewed life before God decided to give me a little perspective:
If only ....(fill in the blank). If only I were prettier, had more money, were more successful in Arbonne, were more organized, kept a cleaner home, were a better mom, a better wife..... If only.
Then I was listening to my station of choice, NPR of course. They were doing an interview at an orphanage in Afghanistan. There was a little boy there. His mom had gone for a walk. But didn't return home. She was captured by insurgents threatening to blow her up. And a few days later, they did. They took her to hospital, strapped her to explosives, and used her as a suicide bomber.
Upon hearing the news, the father, who suffered from asthma, had a massive attack triggered by stress, grief, and of course, the Afghan dust. He was rushed to a hospital -- but it was too late. He too died ... leaving this traumatized boy to join the thousands and thousands of children whose lives have been forever altered by horrible and unimaginable violence. He plays well at the orphanage during the day ... but he can't sleep at nights. He misses his mom and dad -- and the life at home he used to have.
Well, that story was enough to bring tears to my eyes -- but God wasn't quite done.
I was reading Reader's Digest (yes, I still like reading this old peoples' magazine) -- and they had an article on a Holocaust death camp. The numbers of people who were gassed makes your mind reel. But one story broke my heart. A woman was carrying her baby with her on the way to the gas chambers (of course, they didn't realize that's where they were headed.) In the mass confusion, a woman dropped her baby. She stopped to pick up her child, but the guards were on it. The started beating her. She cried, and asked if she could please pick up her baby. They said, "We'll take care of your baby." And they picked up the child, and threw the baby into a nearby fire.
"OK, God, I think this is enough heartbreak. I get it...." But he wasn't done yet.
I read a story of a toddler who was in foster care. His mom was a drug addict, and her boyfriend, extremely abusive. He was found wandering around in a parking lot with his 5 siblings, teeth cracked and broken by a recent beating. Just another unwanted child.
Last night, I couldn't sleep. Not cause I wasn't tired -- but because I was thinking about all the kidnapped girls that had been trafficked for sex. These are girls are so precious to God -- yet are used, abused, raped, tortured and sometimes killed. While I lay peacefully in my bed ... they were in stranger's beds, servicing up to 20 men a night. Not because they want to or because they like it. Because someone decided they had no rights, no future, nothing to offer but a PROFIT. So many lives absolutely ruined.
Not only are they victims ... they are misunderstood. When I talk to people about sex trafficking, most don't want to hear about it. "That doesn't happen here, so why should I know about it?" Um... yes it does happen ... to at least 100,000 children every year in America. "Sex trafficking -- honey I'm too old to hear about stuff like that." "I'm too busy ..." "That only happens to kids who are raised wrong." I've heard it all.
By this time last night (or should I say early this morning) -- I was tired of hearing all the bad news. I wanted to just close my eyes to the pain, grief and despair plaguing the least of these. But there was still more....
Today at church, we had a missionary from Asia preach. He told a story. .. "One of the missionaries on our team felt called to the river Ganges to preach to the Muslims gathered there. To cleanse themselves of sin, they wash themselves in the sordid, smelly waters of waste. As the missionary approached the waters, he saw a woman on her face, pounding the ground and wailing. From her weeping, he knew her pain had to be great.
"'Mother,' he asked, 'Your pain must be great. Please tell me what is wrong, and perhaps I can help.' She told him that her husband had TB and could not work. She did not know how to feed her family. She thought that maybe if she offered her most precious sacrifice, the gods might have mercy and provide for her family. '30 minutes ago, I threw my 6 month son into the river,' she confessed through her sobs. He wept with her ... and told her that God had already sacrificed his son so that her sins would be forgiven. 'Where were you 30 minutes ago?' she cried. 'If I had only known, then my son would be alive and with me.' She went home weeping."
Even as I write this, tears stream down my face. I cannot fathom the despair and hopelessness that would cause a mother to sacrifice her own child.
So where does this new perspective leave me?
I'm still trying to figure that out. For starters, I know that I can't do anymore of the "if only...." God has spared my life from so much grief, trauma, loss, violence and hopelessness. He has provided AMPLY for my needs. I have ALWAYS had enough food, known I was loved, loved Christ since I was a child, grew up knowing I would go to heaven, have a wonderful, safe and healthy family.
My gratitude is so great right now. But that is not enough. The grief, the pain, the loss HAS to be addressed. Somehow sending a check to missionaries and ministries isn't enough. Sure, it's something. But I feel God calling me to do something more.
But WHAT? is the question I'm faced with. Pray more? Support more missionaries? Become a foster parent? Adopt from orphanages? Become an advocate for sex-trafficking victims?
I also feel incredible anger. Anger that people will do such horrible things to each other. Anger that Satan causes such evil and despair -- and yet we Christians often just think of him as just a mere pest. Anger at myself, for being so spoiled and self-absorbed. Anger at Americans in general -- we're so wrapped up in the newest, greatest, best. In getting stuff for ME. Tell me this isn't wrong -- American's spend more on dog food than we do on foreign missions.
Lord -- may I forever be grateful for you blessings. May I realize that I am not exempt from pain -- one day I will lose those close to me. I will experience suffering. In those times, may I still bring glory to you. And until that day comes, may I praise you every day for the lives and health of those I love.
Please show me what you want me to do with all this new perspective. Lead me and Ryan in your way. Show us how to invest in your kingdom. If you want us to be foster parents, or to adopt, please prepare us, lead us, and provide the children whose lives we can lead to you.
And I pray for everyone who reads this post -- that you would touch their hearts. Perhaps you will change their perspective too. Perhaps you will bring their hearts closer to yours, just as you've done mine.
In all things, I ask for your will to be done. And for the glory to go to Christ alone.
Amen.
Friday, August 13, 2010
a few minutes of peace
Madelyn is happy looking at books by herself -- giving me a few minutes of peace with my pc and coffee.
I'm looking forward to ruminating about my life as mom of a toddler, entrepreneur and wife. Writing has been missing from my life for too long. Perhaps this will be the outlet I need.
However, I will cut this initial blog short. After all, Madelyn is happy looking at books by herself. And as any mom knows, those opportunities to be productive are few and far between!
(I will note, though, that she is reading "If you're happy and you know it", singing and clapping her hands. Too stinking cute!)
I'm looking forward to ruminating about my life as mom of a toddler, entrepreneur and wife. Writing has been missing from my life for too long. Perhaps this will be the outlet I need.
However, I will cut this initial blog short. After all, Madelyn is happy looking at books by herself. And as any mom knows, those opportunities to be productive are few and far between!
(I will note, though, that she is reading "If you're happy and you know it", singing and clapping her hands. Too stinking cute!)
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