Wednesday, October 8, 2014
The day I realized real life and I don't really get along
Some days, I would give anything to be Type A.I'm so far from Type A, I'm really more like Type Z.
Especially on this day ... The day I forgot to pick up my daughter from kindergarten.
I mean, it was bound to happen sooner or later. I just didn't think it would be so soon.
We had a social worker visit, and either I was chatty or they were chatty, or we all just lost track of time because none of the clocks in my living room (or bathroom for that matter) are set to the right time... And so our hour-long appointment lasted much more than an hour.
My agency caseworker stayed extra late, in part at my encouragement. I'm a social person, and if I'm allowed to be so honest ... I really miss grown-up talk.
Don't get me wrong here: I love the quality time I get with my kids. I don't take it for granted.
I took Baby Z and Leyla to the park today, and we honestly had a fantastic time.
So yes, I love my kids. But it was nice to have a conversation that wasn't full of two-word commands like "feed me", "change me", "wipe my butt." (Ok, that one was a 3-worder.)
So she stayed, we chatted and had a lovely time. Around 4, I started getting the feeling that I was missing something. Mentally, I ran through my calendar. I was sure the only thing I was missing was a trip to the post office I had wanted to make.
Finally, I start to think to myself ... It seems like we're missing someone.
I check my phone for the time, and sure enough, the school office had called.
My poor, sweet girl was forgotten by the one person who should never forget her.
She forgave me much, much more quickly than I forgave myself.
Not only did I feel awful, but I felt totally irresponsible.
That feeling has continued today ... When I realize that our relicensing paperwork is MIA. Thankfully, it's all still blank so I'm hoping they will send me replacement paperwork.
Also, today, I remembered that I have a dental appointment tomorrow ... And yet I kept forgetting to get babysitting.
Also, a certification for a 36-hour training we did last year is nowhere to be found. But I HAVE to find it by end of October so we can be current on our continuing education, and continue to be Baby Z's foster family.And I have searched through the files and piles (and trust me, we have far more piles than files), every last piece of paper ... And that document is simply gone.
The previous was all blogged this morning at 1:30 this am after rocking down a baby.
This am, I was feeding said baby. Our schedule was a little tight, but Maddy's homework was done, her clothes were on, her lunch was packed. I even secured babysitting for the dental appointment.
Everyone, including baby was sitting down to a quick breakfast. Leyla and I were still in our pajamas, but we would have time to change before taking Masdy to school.
As I scoop more sweet carrots into a messy little baby face, the doorbell rings.
It is time for Baby Z's visit with mom ... And for the umpteenth time, I forgot.
So I scoop up baby, rush around like mad to get him in an outfit warm enough for the weather (where are all his pants??), hastily pack a makeshift diaper bag -- and Leyla comes up to me, totally stinky.
Turns out she had blowout diarrhea.
Thankfully the supervisor, who is a guy, was kind enough to finish dressing baby while I address poop girl.
And he's kind enough not to judge the fact that I am in my pajamas, hair looking awful, breath smelling like who knows what, and (worst of all) bra-less. (Oh ease oh please, universe, let him not have noticed that one.)
And so have decided today that real life and I sometimes just don't get a long too well. And that has only become more painfully obvious since adding the third child.
Instead of recounting to myself all the ways my forgetful brain has failed me, I'm choosing to cling (really, I'm clinging on by a thread here) to the verse I read this morning.
"The Lord is my Shepherd, I lack nothing."
This will be my mantra for as long as I needit.
God's right here beside me, guiding me, and telling me I have everything I need to complete the journey He's put me on.
Ps. Maddy with on-time to kindergarten. Don't ask me how.
PPS. As we were leaving to go to the dental appointment, Leyla took a drink of milk. As is her usual custom, she hoarded the goods inside her checks instead of swallowing. As she was on my carpet, she sneezed ... Spewing soy milk all over the hallway. Poor hallway ... It will just have to wait.
"I lack nothing, I lack nothing, I lack nothing..."
PPPS. I figured out that we have about 8 in-home visits a month. Add a supervisor twice a week for pick up and drop off, and that means , on average 4 out 5 days in the week someone professional related to foster care or adoption is in our house. This is not counting our out-of-home appointments. No wonder I'm behind on laundry.