Thursday, June 28, 2012

You left a hole that can't be filled

Olivia,

I'm totally missing you today. Nothing is really filling in the gap you left.

And I'm dreading the beginning of August with everything in me. :(

My sister asked why I wanted to be pregnant now so badly. She wondered if it was just because  I lost you. I never seemed so anxious to get pregnant before you.

The truth is, I've never been so happy as I was when I was pregnant with you. You were (and are) an unexpected joy to our family. I had given up hope of having more kids. You awakened that desire in me. It's a desire I don't understand. And no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to harness.

As much as I regret not having you . . . and of having this hole that won't go away . . . I'll never regret getting pregnant with you.

I hope you are having fun with Jesus, Grandma and Grandpa, and your friend Mya.

I wish I knew what you looked like so I could picture you playing in heaven.

Love,

Mommy

1 comment:

  1. Love it. if only were this easy to really reconnect with our angels.

    ReplyDelete

There was an error in this gadget