tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6922698531353636335.post9029287651457955499..comments2024-01-15T02:13:14.725-08:00Comments on the lewis note: 5 things never to say to a woman whose baby has diedRachel Lewishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06652608705204867306noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6922698531353636335.post-70529462427564566812015-08-08T14:29:48.948-07:002015-08-08T14:29:48.948-07:00Just say something genuine, not trite. Like the ar...Just say something genuine, not trite. Like the article said, just saying "I'm so sorry for your loss" is enough. Heck, just tell the truth and say, "I don't know what to say."Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6922698531353636335.post-67698751539619398972015-03-10T23:10:33.390-07:002015-03-10T23:10:33.390-07:00Here's a question to ponder for your next post...Here's a question to ponder for your next post: is it better to say the wrong thing or to say nothing at all? I think sometimes those of us who have friends who are grieving are so afraid of saying something that will make it worse that we say nothing, and end up leaving our friends feeling lonelier than ever. <br /><br />This is not a critique on this post at all, you have really valid and challenging points here, I'm just really curious. Deannahttp://deannag.typepad.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6922698531353636335.post-46866700801342679632015-03-10T22:11:55.799-07:002015-03-10T22:11:55.799-07:00I personally disagree on 2 of them ... I had a st...I personally disagree on 2 of them ... I had a stillbirth and took great comfort in knowing he was in a better place. .. that God needed my baby more than me and that he was with God not in this terrible world. that's not to say I would want my living children there but that it did give me great comfort knowing my baby not even Born so without sin was with my God in heaven. I also didn't mind people having gone thru similar experiences saying they understood my pain. It was comforting to know I was not special. The pain of losing a child was not something set aside special just for me, but that other women knew that pain and I could cry with them and vent with them ... the women who experienced loss whether early or late stage were the people I needed to talk to when I lost my son. The other 2 I totally agree with. But for some knowing your not alone and that your baby is with God ... those can be very comforting feelings !!! stephaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10481268626011609518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6922698531353636335.post-71131356924427691802015-03-10T19:11:57.326-07:002015-03-10T19:11:57.326-07:00I totally agree Mel. There are millions of posts e...I totally agree Mel. There are millions of posts exactly like this one. And yet I still feel the need to write (again) because people STILL aren't getting the message.<br /><br />I got to thinking about it today. Why is it that we as a culture are primed to do all sorts of things just to be socially acceptable- -- we brush our teeth so no one has to smell our bad breath, we bathe, we say "hello" and "goodbye" at the appropriate times -- but never, never are we given a social primer on grief. This is so strange to me given that, oh, 100% of us will lose someone at some point. So why is it that we go around offending each other left and right in our grief, and it's socially acceptable to stay ignorant? Why hide in the sand like grief doesn't happen, but it does and we are hurting others with our words. <br /><br />Just needed to rant. I feel another post coming on . . . .Rachel Lewishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06652608705204867306noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6922698531353636335.post-14107452682757981802015-03-10T17:35:04.858-07:002015-03-10T17:35:04.858-07:00That is the most dumbfounding part: that these sam...That is the most dumbfounding part: that these same words keep being said loss after loss. And yet I've seen plenty of "what not to say" articles. So why isn't it sinking in?Lollipop Goldsteinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01020874415819057995noreply@blogger.com